"you are drop dead gorgeous." -yeah, right. over my dead body.
wondered why i actually trusted and adored you. POOF*
i treat people how they deserve to be treated. and hypocrites deserves to be ignored.
i don't care how much you hate her. seriously. because everything turns out to be lies. always thought that you are a gerat person to be with but the results are dissapointing.
i see noting in you that deserve my respect. just another fucked up bustard.
don't see why i should still be there, days after days, years after years, waiting.
why am i the one to look away. why am i the one to be hurt. why am i the one to feel the pain that no one feels.
why?
i don't know how to make this feeling stop. no one taught me. i don't know how to be fine when i'm not. no one taught me.
no one told me that i'll hurt so much. no one told me about the pain i have to go through. no one told me about how unbearable the pain is.
this feeling is taking control of me and i can't help it.
i'm always the one to look away. even if i don't want to, i have to. but looking away doesn't reduce the pain. i just hope someone will understand me. i tried to get use to things that had changed but i can't. i just can't.
i'm tired and low and i feel so misplaced. though knowing that i'll face it alone in the end don't really make me come to my senses.
the monster inside me is rising. the feeling inside me is rising. the pain inside me is rising. and i can't help it.
i thought that you should know that i've tried my best to let go of you but i don't want to. so what if i've tried, i just can't let go.
i never had such feeling about things, about life, about people. but when i look around me, everything seem so meaningless, noting makes sense. noting means anything to me.
i'm having this "writer's block". Ms Tan HC just told us to write something about RAIN. wth? rain. rain rain rain.
write about water from the skies. write about streets flooded. write about how i'm affected by the rain.
what is there is write about water from the skies? streets being flooded? as long as that street near my house isn't flooded, anywhere else that floods is fine with me.\
shit. Ms Tan HC is gonna shut my comp. wth. continue later.
people can be so irritating sometimes. i mean, if you wanna type, TYPE PROPERLY. typing is not something that you must attend a stupid course to learn. okay, i don't need a course to learn typing.
and i got so pissed off with that girl in msn. DAMN HER.
so what if she is from a so called "good" school. (she was boasting that she was SO popular in friendster) and she was asking me just now. "yy0us iin n0rmall ttechh arx"
and i was like, OMG, you're insulting me. then i said. "FYI: i'm in EXPRESS"
she had such horrible typing skills that i bet noe one iunderstand what she is typing except herself maybe. she asked me for my PSLE apoints. so i said 2_ _.
then she said. "0kiiEs.... ii qqh0rtts 2_ _. KeKes..." (she got a relatively high mark)
and then the stupidest thing is that she went... "yayys..."
what the FUCK FUCK FUCK?! and imagine that she is of the same age as us.
and out of the blue she said. "anws, rr uu tt qHurLLs` wh00 sc0ldedd miies iin fwenstaarhhs b4?" "uu rlyy tt bbiitchh arhhs"
ME: 1st) i don't know what you are taking about cause i can't read your typing(no offence) 2nd) did you just called me a bitch?
HER: uu addmiit uu tt bbiitchhx marhhx
ME: why should i admit that i'm a bitch when i'm am (obviously) NOT.
HER: n0 uu`re nn0t meiix.
HER: uu kps lehh...
HER: duntt wann admiit somem0rE.
ME: i'm nosey?
HER: ka0pEiis. nn0t kp0s.
ME: you approached me and asked who am i.
ME: then you insulted me, saying that i'm in NT.
ME: and now you got overboard and called me a bitch.
ME: what is wrong with you?
HER: ehhs. cb kiiahs larhhx. uu ask whO ii am first leiix. thn uu askk miies ii'm iin NT or n0ts. thhn iie askk youu derhhx. tthnn uu scOldd miies bbiitch first ,, then ii scoldd uu back bbiitch larhjs, slut!
HER: nn0thiinqs wrr0nqqs with miies.
HER: rresppect miies, iie's oldderrs thhn yy0us. (-PS. i'm of the same age as her)
ME: why should i respect you when you don't deserve it.
HER: iie ddunt deserve ? uu`res a bbiitchs manns!
ME: get a grip, i'm NOT that bitch that you are talking about. and you obviously got the wrong person. and you stubbonly DON'T wanna admit it.
ME: why did you say that i'm the "bitch" that you are talking about.
ME: and see, you are now unable to produce a good reason. AGAIN. i'm not the one that you are taking about.
after more rough words, i blocked her. i don't see the need of trying to explain myeself anymore. i just don't see it.
and btw, she threatened to sue me cause she claims to be rich, -whatever-. it is not like i'm a begger on the streets. so i got enough of her and i said, "fine, if you wanna sue me, i'll see you in court"
i just can't be bothered with such people like her.
Syiq accompanied me to northpoint ystd, to get that b'day present for Lipin. so, we had Burger King for lunch. and the both of us were like hunting for hot boys in the restaurant. we were scanning the place then (i don't know why)
i said " XXXXXX is a physco maniac." Syiq: "no lah. he's a sex maniac." Me: "OMG. that was so CORRECT. it didn't occured to me that XXXXXX was a sex maniac till you pointed it out."
-LOLing-
i just came back from MAC where i was doing my homework tpogether with Syiq. the both of us were laughing so badly under the rain.
our conversation topic this time, is on NIPPLES. Jonathan = JOHNples. Syiq = SYIples. Zijun = Jples. Jack = Jackples.
LOLOLOL!
disdainer this is my other LJ. for school use. so, for THREE NINERS, if you haven't add my LJ as a friend yet. add it here please.
at this point of time, everyone seems to be having problems with their brain.
i'm so stressed up that my brain seems to be malfunctioning. 1+1=? 11? 111? fuck. i really don't know.
SYIQ reckons that she don't have a brain. i guess she lost it when she got too high about starbucks or was crazy-ING about ryan ross.
there is even smt wrong with SYIQ's computer's brain. WOW. i didn't know that even computers have "brain"
i'm SO worried for my literature.
i'm worried that i'll fuck at it. i'm worried that i'll fail it. i'm worried that i'll drop it.
shit. what am i gonna do about it?
Ma Tan HC(eng teacher) wants us to setup an LJ, for english. i'm so bloody excited about it. and i'll update super long posts in it. emphasing on every single detail about my life.
my many hair do i loose a day, what time do i sleep, telly programs i watched.
mostly it'll be crap.
and i'm so super relived that Ms Tan HC choosed LJ instead of blogger. LK is a shitload faster compared to blogger.
i'm so crazy about "THE VERONICAS" now. they are fab. what a great pair of sisters they are.
i haven't been updating for ages and i just thought that i'll drop by and upload a post of something. i haven't been getting enough sleep since the school term started and i'm getting the "panda eyes" i had been working on my school + tuition work till wee hours in the morning.
i'm taking PHY-CHEM and i just had my Chemistry class today. and my chem teacher is -again- Ms Lai. she was going on and on about the R&R-something about redeeming-and the so called "eye contact"
i got my New Year Resolution ready and i had broken Resolution #10 already and this is like only the fifth day of the New Year. i was right after all. i S.U.C.K at New Year Resolutions.
if only i hadn't met him. if only i wasn't posted to YSS. if only i didn't give a damn about him. if only he was a bustard and i hated him. if only i could keep him out of my head. IF ONLY....
i don't know why i did it but i knew i did it. i told myself time and time again to forget about him and move on. but it seemed that my heart refused to listen to my head.
i tried all i could.
i wish i could just know whats going on. i wish i could just forget about him. i wish i'm dead. i wish he's dead. i wish we didn't existed I WISH....
maybe i'll just wake up tomorrow and realised it was a dream and he wasn't real. maybe i can remove him out from the back of my head. maybe my heart won't be aching anymore. maybe i'm not real. maybe we'll be dead tomorrow. MAYBE....
i need a dark dark corner in that dark dark room. i need to cry.
i missed home. i missed SYIQ. i miss my cellphone. checked my mobile first thing i got home and BOOM. i'm flooded with messages. i'm touched that people actually send me short messages everyday to find out if i'm home.
got all my stuffs there in Xia Men. P.S. the weather is horrible there. 1) CDs 2) fake nails 3) clothes 4) earings 5) bags
and more.
i got to watch the movie "The Curse Of The Golden Flower"
Harry Potter And The OOTP will be showing in s'pore on 12th of july. HAHAHAH! i TOLD you that it'll be in july. check it out here. http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0373889/
i got my air ticket already. it is a 7.15am flight on 22nd december. URGHHHH. i gotta be at the airport at 5.
Music Video For The Song "Just So You Know" -SCREAMS-
that girl is pretty. but her boyfriend got a butt for a face. why on earth would whould the pretty girl wanna be with that butt-face instead of Jesse McCartney. but nevertheless, Jesse got her girl. he got such a cool phone, i want one just like that.
Jesse really seems MUCH MORE mature in this album. and definately MUCH MORE hot.
i left my LJ un-updated for almost a week, and i guess it'll again be left un-updated for another 2 weeks or so. OMG! i'm going XiaMen. ITS SO COOL. i'll be leaving on the 22nd of december and i'll be back in singapore on the 1st january 07. there are shitload of stuffs i wanna get there. here is the list.
1) New Hairstyle. 2) Comics- Jing says that there is a particular comic shop there that allows people to read the comics avaliable alap. 3) Fake Nails- esp for Syiq, she had been dying to get them and i myself want some too. 4) Clothes- CNY is around the corner. and more...
my New Year Resoultion is not out yet. i've been thinking about it though. i'll have only about 5-10 resolutions, i'm not really good at keeping them.
i'm like still waiting for Jesse McCartney's MV to be out. i just hope that he gets to do a MV for my favourite songs.
1) Just So You Know 2) Right Back In the Water 3) Anybody 4) Tell Her 5) Just Go 6) We Can Go Anywhere 7) Daddy's Little Girl
okay, here is Zax and Tony presenting the Top 10 female award.
i could have kicked his ass. i was IM-ing Syiq on 7th december. i IM her almost everyday anyway.
(22:18) dface [::
I KNOW.
(22:18) dface [::
he needs to fuck off and stay away from my life.
(22:18) DISDANIER;:
yeap. you got that right woamn!
(22:19) dface [::
i know. just shit off!
(22:19) dface [::
someone, get him off my radar.
(22:19) DISDANIER;:
are you still IM-ing him?
(22:20) dface [::
ya. fucker.
(22:20) DISDANIER;:
oh god.
(22:20) DISDANIER;:
he is being SO.... childish. and mind you, he is 16 next year....
(22:21) DISDANIER;:
wooooo.
(22:21) dface [::
he has never heard of panic. stupid.
(22:21) dface [::
syed says: the heart beating fast dface [: scenewhore. says: er.. that one is from a song!
(22:21) DISDANIER;:
i call ppl nerds for a reason.
(22:21) DISDANIER;:
HUHUHUHU.
(22:21) dface [::
STUPID WHAT
(22:33) DISDANIER;:
he is one fine little DUMB ASS.
1)he didn't cherish you. 2)he let you down. 3)you were forgiving and forgave him. 4)he let you down again. 5)your heart was borken time and time again, BY HIM. 6)he is such a dumb KUKU who only listens to his family. 7)he and his hurting words caused you pain AGAIN. 8)he ignors you and acted as noting happened. 9)he suddenly sends you E-MAILS, apologising, talk to on msn and got so sour. 10)HE IS _ _ _ _ _ _.
(22:33) dface [::
i know..
(22:33) dface [::
but its just.. .. uhhhh. i don't know
(22:34) DISDANIER;:
you are not going to forgive him.... are you?
(22:34) dface [::
idk.
(22:34) dface [::
as of right now, i don't want to choose.
21:57) DISDANIER;:
ryan ross V.S _ _ _ _ _ _VICTORY FOR RYAN ROSS. 1) he is cute. 2)he has a beautiful name. 3)his eyes are loved.
(21:58) dface [::
FUCKYEAH.
i finally finish the show, "The Invincible Duo" I HATE THE ENDING CAN? Tie XinLan(Fan BingBing) died. i don't want it like that!!! URGH!
the Star Award ystd was fine, Zhang Jia Hui is SO CUTE. and 56 arrived at singapore ystd to present the Top 10 Female award.
SNAP OUT OF IT! you don't have to be influenced by them, you DON'T have to! its not like you are lack of brain or anything though you are lack of IQ. but there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for you to do it.
went searching for Jesse Mccartney's photos this morning and i found LOADS. WHEEEEEEEEE. the weekend was boring. tuition and hospital all day. i just hope that grandmama can be discharged asap.
VCD-ING till 3.00 am this morning. WHOOOOOOOOO. though the show is stupid.
"Lord Of The Rings" was showed ystd on channle 5. mum and me argued on which book is better, "Lord Of The Rings" or "Harry Potter". OF COURSE! OF COURSE! OF COURSE ITS HARRY POTTER! but my mum thought otherwise. but HELLO? HARRY POTTER!? okay, to tell the truth, "Lord Of The Rings" is not a bad book, but Harry Potter is fantastic. i just feel that the story, "Lord Of The Rings" is VERY confusing as there are SO MANY characters. but i don't really dislike the show, because there is Orlando Bloom. WOOOHOOOO; well, frankly and seriously i enjoy "Harry Potter" more, MUCH more. "Harry Potter"'s totally rock!
why whould anyone want to watch "Lord Of The Rings" when there is Harry Potter?! and i love JK Rowling, she is my idol and i wanna be like her. i don't know if i told you before but i definately remember that i told Syiq and Xiwen, that i wanna be a writer. it is so cool, you get to write your own story, write a story that you think is prefect. because my life is NOT perfect. i don't get to control my life, i can't stop things from happening. but I AM IN CONTROL in the story. i get to make things happen and stop things from happening. no one can tell me what to do and i'm so crazy for Rowling. i think she is so fantastic. she knows how to use her pen and she is so talented. i admire her. i really do. she was travlling on the train then suddenly the idea comes and by the time she reached her stop, all the characters were formed.
xiwen gave my the URL, so thank xiwen that you get to watch it. i was LOL-ing so hard at it. WARNING this video is so FULL of singlish.
Sang Nila Utama, saw a lion, alamak. name the village Singapura, then run very far. years later, ang mor came, Stamford Raffles was his name. Pose for statues very nice, we kenna colonize.
Singapure very strong. Big guns all, pointing wrong. Japanese, came on bikes, invade us from our backside.
war is over ang mor back, Singaporeans no respect, commies come, make a fuss. Singapore Independence!
i live in Singapura. it's not perfect living but at least it's interesting. i live in Singapura. thought it is kind of crazy but we win other country.
David Marshall, Lim Yew Hock. National Anthem starts to rock. Yusof Ishak the big man. guess who's PM.
Malaysia say, come join me. two of us be same country. then not happy, then make PM cry.
PM Lee lead country. Build Jurong and HDB. make the country clean and green. Opposition cannot win. JB Jeya no more funds. Chee Soon Juan won't eat his buns. Lim How Doong, what a goon! "Don't talk cock" in Parliment.
i live in Singapura. it's not perfect living but at least it's interesting. i live in Singapura. thought it is kind of crazy but we win other country.
kick out from Malaysia Cup. Michael Faye: pain in butt. S-Leauge, Tea dancing. Ah-Bengs love Modern talking. McDonald's Hello Kitty. Everyone drink Bubble tea. crushing cockroach Margaret Chan. Jame Lye is The VR man. LOL.
Reclaimation. Tuas Causeway. Malaysia water buay ho sei. Mahathir's friend: Datuk Anwar. Mahathir says he Chow Ah Quah.
NDP: aunties rush. everyone it's fun to flush. Bubble Gums are all banned. ask your friends to buy from thailand.
i live in Singapura. it's not perfect living but at least it's interesting. i live in Singapura. thought it is kind of crazy but we win other country.
Driving car, not funny. bid for cars with COE. ERP, road tax. PARF untill i want to barf.
IR locals have to pay. Foregin Talents are okay. Housing estates upgrade by contractors that go pok kai. IMF come must smile more. want to protest go indoors. LRT not so fast. NEWater they laugh at us.
i live in Singapura. it's not perfect living but at least it's interesting. i live in Singapura. thought it is kind of crazy but we win other country.
Baby Bonus, maid levy. Singtel shares give out for free. Jack Neo, Kit Chan sexy pastor Ho Yeow Sun.
Backham parties with models. has affair but no one knows. S-leauge, go world cup. can come true if they don't suck.
Mahathir then Abdullah. bar top dancing at the bars. Budget airlines starts to PAK! stop speaking Singlish lah!
Gay is okay says PM. SM Lee go be MM. PM LEE the same name. here we go all over again!
i live in Singapura. it's not perfect living but at least it's interesting. i live in Singapura. thought it is kind of crazy but we win other country.
we live in Singapura. it's not perfect living but at least it's interesting. we live in Singapura. thought it is kind of crazy but we win other country.
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